The site has found a way to measure emotional "power". Not in good terms. Rather, the need to exert power (hm yes, it's a negative).
So my need for feeling powerful in relationships is around 30%. There is no explanation of any variables, so I make a guess: ideally, I like to be trusted in the areas where I have expertise. Things like: time planning, food planning, emotional safety.
I'd say at 40%, the need for "power" might still be OK, especially if one is in the 30ies. Some people just have a lot of expertise that applies to relationships. "Teamwork" switch should go automatically after one's individual need for power is achieved (notice a change, barely some time ago I would have argued for "after 40%, teamwork or walk away").
Now we are good for problem definition. So ok, the site is also a matchmaker of sorts. People contact me there. it's a nice site, so people look generally nice there. But there is a but, of course. Most of those who contact me have a need for power ABOVE 70%. That's a big F'ing problem. So there is a way to calculate off what is most likely emotional abusers, but the algorythm is not in my brain. This drives me bonkers. And when I walk in the busy street, and for that moment it feels good because there are people there, close, most of them have the F'ing need for power above 70%?
What is so attractive about having power and control that people cling to it? What, besides money and status, guides lives of these people? Fear?
I do not want to live in societies where this need for power is so strong. Maybe it's a happiness in disguise that I did not build a home with any one of them. Because this power-hunger is not purely individual character trait. It's proliferated by families. One of my emerging hypotheses is that in fact the absence of kin-power behind my back drove people out of civility while administering a dog-training-like "relationships" with me.
I should hire a batshit crazy daddy figure, I guess. How much would that cost?
The worst let-downs in my life came from those few people who felt it was OK for them to use power against me, when in fact the nature of relationship was expected to at the very least be "collaborative". Well f'k them! I have enough stoicism remaining in my belly to live without them.
But without any smallest doubt, I would die for a chance to just be with more people like me. It's time they showed up already, no?
