When I used to tell people I did this, they would give me weird looks. (Which makes it sound like I forced it into the conversation. But I'm talking about when it just came up, casually.) They would ask me if we were newlyweds. "No," I'd say. "We've been married for five years." People asked why we didn't just meet up at home. I didn't have a good reason, other than I liked spending as much time with my wife as possible, and it seemed a shame to commute home alone, when I could do it with her.
We were best friends for a year before we started dating. We met in grad school, and I used to meet her after most of her classes, so that we could hang out together. I was vaguely aware that I was a bit of a laughingstock -- that puppy-dog guy who was always following that girl around. But I was happier being with her than not being with her. So I spent as much time with her as possible. Still do."
I would have loved this included in The 5 Love Languages, along with the story of the woman whose husband would not stay with her when she was in a hospital. Both mean a weighty portion of wisdom for me. And a lot of shagreen. The thread where the above appeared quickly turned into a discussion of the "two types" of people of sorts. I remember someone who I had hoped to grow very close with criticizing another person for daily calls to home. I found the logic inexplicable... but disregarded it, along with other neon red signs of... a broken character? (a wiring that cannot put care forward? a nature of deep disinterest?) Now the knowledge of affection turning into cruelty just weight so much, so much on me. Had I not known the beauty, I would have shrugged off the pain. If there is cruelty, the heart was never able of affection. The hardest thing to accept without falling apart first.
What is important is that somewhere out there, there are people who can, who are able... It's a good news. The world would be much scarier place if they never spoke out. For their voice, I will be forever thankful.
This excerpt is the most beautiful text of the year 2010 for me. And probably of 2009. And 2008. And 2007.
